The roots of mental illness and addiction run deep in my family. They have for many generations. Diseases ranging from anxiety, depression and schizophrenia to mani depressive and boarder line personality disorders. Addicts with vices of alcohol, gambling, opioids and yes, even shopping. I have watched my family members avoid, deny, numb and suppress traumas that would ultimately manifest as disease, both mental and physical. I personally struggle with anxiety. Anxiety that, at times, is paralyzing. Anxiety that has led to panic attacks and physical pain.
In the past eight years I have committed myself to working on reflecting, processing and peeling away the many layers of who I thought I was. Sitting still with the hard truths can be an uncomfortable thing to do. Talk therapy, nutrition, excercise, nature, yoga and meditation... I have used it all to help manage my symptoms. My Self-Care Ritual has changed over the years and will evolve as I continue this journey; acknowledging what my body and my mind need at the moment.
Once, I would go for a long, hard 10 mile hike to "work it out". Today, I am more likely to make a cup of tea and sink into a calming bath. I discovered CBD years ago and it has since changed my quality of life as a tool in my Self-Care Ritual. After incorporating a daily regiment of CBD into my life I have seen an improvement in my positivity, productivity and ability to handle stress. I have an overall sense of calm that I have never previously experienced in my life.
Do I still have days where I can be crippled by my old narrative rearing its ugly head? Yes, I do. To a far lesser degree because CBD helps me stay more steady during the pendulum swings of life.
It is important to note that I believe that all things -- movement, food, medicine -- are only beneficial in moderation. Moderation is paramount to staying balance, centered and grounded. Cannabis is no different. Too much of anything can be harmful, even if it is "healthy".
Be still. Be quiet. Just be. These "pauses" allow you to create the awareness of what your body needs. I have learned this lesson many times over. If you listen, it will tell you. What is your body telling you? Are you listening?
Love and Magic,